Post by Soteria/Whisper on Feb 14, 2007 21:04:09 GMT -5
Disclaimer:
We are in no way trying to insult those who use "Wolfspeak". This is simply an article that points out the pure facts.
This article deals with the roleplaying trend you see on a lot of other sites, a trend we have termed Wolfspeak. Thus far, Mushroom Grove - even in its former incarnation as Oak Hills - has remained relatively free of Wolfspeakers, and we intend to keep it that way.
What do we mean by Wolfspeak, you ask? Wolfspeak happens when you take words that you think sound 'cool' and poetic and flowery, but don't use them in the proper way, or a way that conveys what you intend.
Most people who are Wolfspeak RP-ers do so because they don’t know any better. See, all these RP-ers are doing it, so that must be right! Right? Wrong. Just because some people think using schmancy-sounding words makes them awesome writers/RP-ers doesn't make it right. On this forum, we are of the opinion that Wolfspeaking doesn't make you a maestro of words - it makes you look ridiculous, pretentious, and like you have no idea what you're talking about.
Now that we have that out of the way we’ll get into the examples, so you can get the gist of exactly what we mean.
Example: A Post, In Wolfspeak
There, nigh on the wind, a flitter of dust sparkling in the moonlight as it cascaded towards the earth. Falling, falling, twisting and turning on the faint breeze as if it were dancing 'pon the night air. Downward it descended, winking down until it touched the very tip of a dark dial. Large vivid orbs turned towards opposite polars to stare down at the tiny freckle of dust 'pon the nose of the fae. Auds perked, then swished backwards with a flair and the particle drifted to the earth. Scraping long digits into the earth, the femora strutted along on tall pillars that carried her gracefully thorugh the emerald clad scenery. Her plume, a wonderful thing, swayed behind her. She heard a twig break o'er a fleshy log near her port side. She turned her massive wedge towards it, occuli trying to bring to focus the strange thing that lingered there. She recognized the faint form of a brute she had so grown to hate. Her mandible parted and shining ivories.
The brute strutted forwards upon tall columns towads the femora, his vivid azure pools staring into hers, studying her structure. He grinned, his folds splitting to reveal pearls of dazzling color. The delicate faeora pranced away, her tassel raising along with her hackles as she danced upon her digits into the plumage of brush to the side. Her radars perked and she stared with burning intensity at the other.
What’s wrong here?
(Where, indeed, to begin?) Well, since it's a particular pet peeve of mine, let's start out with gender terminology, shall we?
The word 'fae' does not mean 'female'. Neither do 'femula', 'femora' or 'faeora'. For one thing, 'fae' has nothing to do with dogs, wolves or even female anything. It refers to the mythical creatures known as faeries, or fairies. 'Femula', 'faeora' and 'femora' aren't even words, and in our opinion it just comes across as attempting to find some sort of 'feminine' word for a female canine. Well, folks, here on MG we like to call a bitch a bitch, and a queen a queen (that's a female cat, for the uninitiated). If you absolutely strongly object to the b-word, then I don't think there's any harm in using the term 'female'.. or, if your character actually has a name, that's also an option to use in referring to her. Just don't give us any of that 'fae'-and-cousins nonsense.
How about 'brute', then, as used in the above example? Well, brute is not exclusively masculine. It simple describes an animal or person that is monstrous. A large, fierce dog could be called a 'brute' whether it is male or female. 'Male' and 'dog' - or 'tom' for a cat - are perfectly acceptable words to use to refer to your male character... or again, if he has a name, that makes for a nice option as well.
Now, even leaving all that aside, some of you (the ones who are used to wolfspeak, anyway) may still be saying "But what was so wrong with that?? It was so BEAUTIFUL and POETIC and FLOWERY and it's what is called CREATIVE WRITING!" Well, I don't claim to be an expert in the literary field, but allow me to show you some of the mental pictures I got when I read the above post.
"...until it touched the very tip of a dark dial."
Okay. Perhaps I'm not very well-acquainted with the terminology of the times, but since when did an animal's nose and muzzle become equated with a 'dial'? By Merriam-Webster's definition:
DIAL
1: the face of a sundial]
2 obsolete : timepiece
3: the graduated face of a timepiece
4 a: a face upon which some measurement is registered usually by means of graduations and a pointer <the thermometer dial reads 70°F> b: a device that may be operated to make electrical connections or to regulate the operation of a machine <a radio dial> <a telephone dial>
1: the face of a sundial]
2 obsolete : timepiece
3: the graduated face of a timepiece
4 a: a face upon which some measurement is registered usually by means of graduations and a pointer <the thermometer dial reads 70°F> b: a device that may be operated to make electrical connections or to regulate the operation of a machine <a radio dial> <a telephone dial>
So yes. Unless your character is some kind of clock, please refrain from referring to its face as a dial.
"Large vivid orbs turned towards opposite polars..."
Even in context, this makes no sense. 'Orb' is indeed the medical term for an eye, but we are not doctors. We are writers. The common use of 'orb', I'm sure you'll agree, is to refer to something spherical. Though our eyes are spherical in actuality, they nonetheless do not appear spherical when we are looking at them in somebody's face, dog, cat or human. If they did, I think the individual in question ought to seek medical attention immediately.
Secondly, 'opposite polars'? Let's just say if I were called upon to illustrate what is happening in the above fragment of a sentence, I would do it like this:
Which does not equate to what the player had in mind, I would think.
"...the femora strutted along on tall pillars..."
"The brute strutted forwards upon tall columns..."
'Pillars' and 'columns', as you should well know, act as supports on buildings. They are straight and generally don't bend a lot, so poor Brute and Femora must be having an awful lot of trouble walking on those. Pity their players just didn't give them nice, strong, good old legs to walk on. Much easier.
"She heard a twig break o'er a fleshy log near her port side."
'Port' side? Is Femora a boat or a sailor now? If she isn't, then one would think she would use 'right' and 'left', like everybody who is not of the nautical persuasion.
"She turned her massive wedge towards it..."
I don't think I need to say more than this:
"his vivid azure pools staring into hers"
These pools belong to Brute. They are azure in colour, and apparently capable of staring. Little kids enjoy them on weekends.
"Her radars perked..."
Apparently Femora hasn't stopped being a boat - perhaps she is some kind of submarine. She has radars now! And they perk!
Merriam-Webster again:
RADAR
1 : a device or system consisting usually of a synchronized radio transmitter and receiver that emits radio waves and processes their reflections for display and is used especially for detecting and locating objects (as aircraft) or surface features (as of a planet)
1 : a device or system consisting usually of a synchronized radio transmitter and receiver that emits radio waves and processes their reflections for display and is used especially for detecting and locating objects (as aircraft) or surface features (as of a planet)
The last time I checked, dogs and cats had nothing of the kind. Unless they're more technologically advanced than we think...
I could go on (and on, and on), but I think - well, I hope - you get the idea.
You see, there is a difference between using imagery as a device in writing, and simply substituting new words for others. We are not against the usage of the above words, and we are not by any means saying OMG THOU SHALT NOT USE THE WORD 'POOL' IN THE DESCRIBING OF AN EYE ON PAIN OF DEATH. What we mean is, there is a correct way to use metaphors and similes. If you are going to make comparisons to other objects, then do it more clearly, and in a more appropriate way. "Her eyes were like deep brown pools" versus "Her brown pools" have two different connotations, believe it or not. We have absolutely no objections to you saying your Newfoundland's legs were 'like pillars', or talking about your Persian's 'plume of a tail'. But if your dog is a little Jack Russell Terrier, then it's rather bizarre to compare his legs to pillars - or his tail, for that matter, to a plume.
The most bizarre case, however, is to substitute words that sound either medical or robotic for parts of your animal's body. Is your character some kind of android, that it has 'optics' for eyes and 'auds' for ears? Why call an eye an 'occulus', or an ear a 'radar', or a muzzle a 'dial', when 'eye' and 'ear' and 'muzzle' are perfectly fine and dandy words to use?
Also, keep it in mind that good writing does not mean boycotting small simple words as if using them would kill you. Small, simple words can be very beautiful - and very profound - when used properly. If all you are thinking about is how to use as many flowery, long words as possible, then there's a high chance you will bury the core meaning of your sentence in words and end up confusing your audience.
Now Let's Look At The Same Post, In English This Time:
A speck of dust drifted on the gentle night wind, coming to rest on the end of a black nose. The young bitch blinked, her large eyes staring at the freckle of dust upon her nose, before she pulled her ears and her head back in a vigorous shake, dislodging the intrusive particle. She trotted away through the greenery on her long strong legs, her claws digging slightly into the soft earth at every step, her long tail swaying gently behind her with the movement. Hearing the soft snap of a twig somewhere to her left, the bitch paused, stiffened, and turned curiously towards the sound, peering through the darkness as she tried to see what it was that had made it. With some apprehension, she recognised the faint form of a particular dog - one that she knew and had grown to hate - and her lips involuntarily drew back across her muzzle, revealing sharp shining teeth.
The dog strutted confidently towards the bitch, his striking blue eyes looking right into hers in the gesture of dominance or challenge, before drifting thoughtfully all over her whole body. He pulled his own lips into a grin, showing his own fine teeth. The bitch growled once, warningly, her hackles, tail and the fur along her back all rising, before darting swiftly into a nearby clump of bushes. Ears pricked, muscles tense, ready for any move he might make, she gazed at him, steady and unblinking.
See, that wasn't so bad now, was it? I didn't use any of that crazy, faux-poetic jargon in the first example.. and yet I get my point across, I make the word limit, and I don't think it made for a dreadfully boring read, either.
If you're still unconvinced, and are still adamant that wolfspeak is the Amazing Ultimate Can't-Be-Topped Best Style In Creative Writing, then you don't have to stay on MG. You can go off to another RP where everybody wolfspeaks with pride, and we'll be free of another wolfspeaker. Everybody wins. But, if you're willing to stick around and compromise, and become a part of the MG community, I'm sure you'll soon see the beauty of non-wolfspeak RP posts, and understand why wolfspeaking has been outlawed here. Who knows, you might get new insights into how to convey things, and actually develop a clear, wonderful writing style of your own.
Original Article by Rie Basset (koorii.deviantart.com/).
Rewritten by Swifthound (swiftwhippet.deviantart.com/), with wolfspeak example provided by Whisper (desiredwhispers.deviantart.com/).
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